Question: I just recently told my ex-husband that we have a daughter together. We are both re-married now and we both have other children. Should we tell the kids and introduce them them or wait until they are older? They are all under 9 years old.

Answer: I am sorry to hear about this difficult situation. I pray that your current marriages and families are growing and doing well together. The issues of step families and remarriages are always complicated and there are no easy answers.  I am not sure I totally understand your question. I am assuming that the daughter you are referring to currently lives with you and is a part of your household. I am also assuming that your children (both this daughter and your children from your current husband) have no contact with your ex-husbands children from his current marriage.  If those things are the case, then you are right that at some point it is likely in the best interest of the children for your daughter, and his children from his new marriage to meet one another at some point. They are all his children, and it would likely be a blessing to them to know of one another and be free to develop a relationship later in life. As far as the question of when this is appropriate, that is much more difficult to say. A lot would depend on how healthy the relationships are in you ex-husbands family. Would this be a good influence for your daughter? If not, then you would likely want to to delay it. If things are healthy there, then it may be appropriate to do sooner. Since this matter is very complicated, I would strongly recommend that you either meet with a local pastor or family counselor to talk through all the issues with you. Another option is for you to set up a phone consultation with me here at Visionary Parenting. Click here for more information about that option. I am sorry that I can't be more helpful. This is a big one, and it warrants a more complete discussion.