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Answer:
There is no clear answer to this one.
Obviously, we can't turn to a chapter and
verse in the Bible that tells us what to do
when kids are up at night crying! I wish there
was a verse like that. There are lots of
perspectives on this, and even cultural
backgrounds play a role. So, about all I can
give you on this one is some experiential
advice. Take it for what it is worth.
First,
most doctors will recommend never sleeping
with an infant in bed with you due to the risk
of smothering.
Once
they are past the infant stage, it becomes
more of a judgment call. When we have little
ones crying in their crib, we generally let
them cry for 10-15 minutes, depending on how
serious the crying is. We will then go
in, and rock them for 5-10 minutes to help
them calm down and let them know they are
safe. Then we put them back in the crib. This
may have to be repeated a few times. The basic
gist is that you want them to experience 1)
that they are safe in their crib, even if they
are alone, and 2) you are present in the home
and available if they really need you.
One
key to developing healthy sleep patterns with
very small kids is to follow the eat, play,
sleep pattern. Try to avoid nursing or feeding
a child in order to get them to go to sleep. I
may make them depend on that in order to get
to sleep rather than being able to laid in
their crib while awake and develop the
"skill" of going to sleep on their
own. Our kids, generally, have also been
helped by special "blankies," binks,
or other security objects.
Finally,
on the issue of kids coming into bed with you
(at the toddler stage and up) many families do
it differently. Some couples have a "no
kids in bed - ever" policy, others have a
"whoever comes in in the middle of the
night - is welcome" approach. You then find
everything in between. One idea a friend of
mine uses is to have a couple of sleeping bags in
their master bedroom, so if a child needs some
added security during the night, they are
welcome to come in and crash next to mom and
dad's bed on a sleeping bag.
A
lot of factors play into making a wise
decision in this area because it is so
important to develop a strong heart
bond/attachment with your kids.
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